Primarily defined by The Oxford English Dictionary as “the most intense, exciting, or important point of something” (noun), climax, is a common synonym for one of the most intense, exciting, or indeed important human activities. Scientifically known as the orgasm, “coming” is an anatomical process unique to each person but universally occurring. Whether it’s with your own fingers, to moans through the magic box or from a good old-fashioned intimate partner, orgasms are an accessible pleasure, yet one of the most taboo topics – even in our rapidly progressing world.
Most adults in their lifetime will have had a sexual encounter of some form or another, but most of us have done so with very little knowledge of wtf we are doing. Even beyond the act of sex and masturbation, thinking anatomically alone, many of us are all the way in our twenties before we happen upon information that is pertinent to our sex organs and reproductive health. That is where Climax comes in.
Thankfully, this isn’t our parents’ lifetime years ago, when a woman would become an industry pariah for daring to speak up about sex. At FEMME MAG, we’re delighted to crop up on Thursdays with a sex education column that joys in the illicit topic of s-e-x, whilst addressing pertinent health issues relating to women’s sexual organs, and societal subjects around sex.
After a few more installations, you’ll come to see Climax as a one-stop-shop for all things sexual health; but for our first edition, we decided to open the floor up to our community, to welcome you, our audience into a the daringly normal world of sex.
From the sextimonials of these six women, we hope to encourage you all to be more open about sex, what you want from sex, who you want from sex, when you want sex and all the questions that our childhood has taught us to shake off burn and never speak of. If nothing else, though, it’s a harmless chance to see what others are about. They say we must always drink water and mind our business, but if we’re being honest, nothing goes down quite like a sex story.
Enjoy
A, she/her, Queer “I like everyone”
How many: Times
If I have a person I like, I’m having sex very often; weekly, daily. But it all depends. Right now I am celibate for personal and spiritual reasons. I’ve previously gone 11 months without having sex because I was celibate (and heartbroken). I masturbate as well, at least twice a week if not more, but that also depends on how I am feeling/where I am. I’ll orgasm during masturbation and during non-penetrative sex and if the foreplay is good during penetrative sex also.
How many: Pleasures
I watch OnlyFans because it’s very rare to find ethical porn or sites that don’t take advantage of women so I’ll use OnlyFans cos at least some of the women are in control. I use vibrators but post celibacy I want to explore other sex toys with a sexual partner. I don’t actually have any kinks apart from the pretty basic biting, scratching, pulling hair, choking, spitting, spanking, sucking earlobes or fingers.
How many: Sexual Partners
It’s very rare for me to find people I actually want to share my body with or like enough to engage in sexual activities with. I would rather be celibate. For example, I’ve only ever had two one-night stands, both when I first moved. However, I always felt empty and disgusted afterwards because I didn’t like them like that. So typically, I would only have one sexual partner at a time. Maybe two if God is feeling generous.
What does the word climax mean to you?
I don’t reallly know. I guess depending on your introduction to, relationship with and conditioning, you may have different approaches to sex etc. I feel like sex, masturbation and climaxing can be insanely gratifying and key to functional living when done in a healthy way. A lot of people are overdoing it with porn and masturbation, especially men. A lot of people get lost in their sex lives and need to be desired sexually. Everything is about balance. I have been celibate for most of my sexually active years and it made me realise how deep sex is for me personally.
It’s intensely bonding and beautiful and fun and adventurous. Everything just needs to be done in the right way, which in itself is relative. Climaxing is very important because it can be stress relieving and also a very potent form of manifesting. It’s sad that not enough straight women get to have that or even know what one is like.
D, She/Her, Pansexual
How many: Times
I am asexual, so I engage in sex mainly because of my partner and to give pleasure. But I masturbate almost all the time, it’s sort of an addiction. I masturbate with my head and I don’t engage in any form of touch. I also orgasm very often.
How many: Pleasure
I watch porn, and that stimulates me as I masturbate with my mind. With my partner, it’s anything that gives pleasure to them and whatever position they seem to enjoy most. My favorite thing to do is to give my partner absolute pleasure.
How many: Sexual Partners
In the past, I can’t count how many sexual partners I have had. But I only have one sexual partner at a time.
L, She/Her, Bicurious “if that’s a sexuality”
How many: Times
Last year I had my first heartbreak and a couple of other things happened to me during that period, it was really deep for me, which made my sex drive low.
I used to have a very high sex drive; I would have sex like four times a week/five times a week, but now I have sex 2-3 times a week with my boyfriend. I think because of my high sex drive, I am actually really sensitive so I come really easily (thank God!) I come and I squirt, so I can come like three times in one round of sex and I can squirt like four times. I come less when I masturbate. I don’t always come during masturbation, so I actually really don’t masturbate much – maybe like once or twice every 3 months. I just feel like somebody should really be doing that for me, it’s too much work to get myself there. I enjoy somebody doing it for me because if I am doing the work I won’t really enjoy coming.
How Many: Pleasures
I don’t really watch porn, except when I am really really demonically horny during ovulation or like a day out from my period. I use sex toys to masturbate for sure and my boyfriend and I use sex toys. Now that I think about it, I feel like any girl that’s having sex with her partner should use sex toys. I’ve honestly found that sex toys really elevate sex and help give you the ultimate orgasm!
Recently, I’ve also been into my boyfriend spitting in my mouth, whenever we have sex, especially during missionary. I also have a foot fetish but Nigerian men are not so excited about feet. My feet stay clean, I know they smell good, so… the girls that get it get it.
How Many: Sexual Partners
I usually have one person I’m sleeping with, at the most, two. But I had a whole phase when I turned 18 – it was crazy – my body count tripled in a week, from two to six.
During that time, once we had sex I’d get disgusted, I wouldn’t even want to be on the same bed as them. Once we’d had sex and I’ve come (to my senses), I’d literally shower and even if it’s 3 am, you’re dropping me at home or I’ll take an uber and I’ll go. I just didn’t want to wake up to that. For me, when it’s done it’s done. So from that time, I’ve had like 5 or six one-time sexual partners.
What does the climax mean to you?
I really wish I answered this back when I had a crazy sex drive. I just loved sex, I loved the act of sex. The reason I don’t really enjoy masturbation as much as sex is because masturbation is just about coming, and it’s not just about coming for me. I like everything that leads up to the sex, the foreplay, the activity, both of us dying on the line trying to make each other bust a nut. It’s really fun for me, it’s like an escape.
I, She/Her, Not into labelling
How Many: Times
About once every fortnight, if I have a stable sexual partner. I masturbate nearly every day when I am ovulating, but when I’m normal, maybe once a week. I really enjoy masturbating, it’s the only time I come really. During sex I’ve come maybe twice but when masturbating it’s pretty much all the time, sometimes multiple times in one go.
How Many: Pleasures
I don’t actually have any kinks, no sex toys either. I watch porn – about two-three times a month – when I’m masturbating sometimes. But I would like to watch it with my partner, I think that would be fun and arousing, and using toys or props with them too.
I don’t think it’s a kink, but I enjoy eating ass and I really like caressing or tapping girls’ p***y, I think because I like masturbating so much so it feels very comfortable and familiar. I’m really a girl for clitoral stimulation so in terms of sex positions cowgirl (on girls) is a fave, and also the classic scissor. With guys, I also like cowgirl and doggy so I can stimulate myself because penetration doesn’t quite hit the spot.
How Many: Sexual Partners
I usually only have one sexual partner. Most of the time, I have none, to be honest. There was a hot minute when I had two, but that came and went fast. I’ve had only a couple one time partners, but all of them I had been attracted to before and am not opposed to doing it again, but I’ll never actively try to because that’s long.
S, She/Her, Heterosexual
How many: Times
I have sex once a week when my boyfriend is around. The longest time I’ve been celibate was for a month and that was when I was away for work. Typically, I masturbate twice a week. Although I’ve never actually orgasmed from sex, missionary is my favourite position because I like eye contact. I also like doggy because it goes deep.
How many: Pleasures
I have sex toys and I watch porn, alone, probably about 6-8 times a month. With my partner, I like being spanked and talking dirty.
How many: Sexual Partners
I only have one sexual partner and I don’t do flings, so I only have sex with my boyfriend.
O, He/She/They (predominantly she)
My sexuality is rather complex and diversified. However, labels I most resonate with are “Lesbian, Sapphic,” and innately some facets of “pansexuality,” in that alluring reality of being attracted to anyone, regardless of their sex/gender. The attraction is more with their personality, their soul than appearance or what the person looks like.
How Many: Times
I have sex only periodically. My most recent sexual interaction was last year, but that was not safe and didn’t feel consensual. It was this guy that I was attracted to but I wasn’t really into him like that. I just went to wish him goodbye and then he pressured me into doing it.
In recent months, I have been masturbating almost every day. It’s a relief for me. I get to understand my body and what turns her on, plus it’s a safe mode of sex (in terms of financial constraints and lack of accessibility to contraceptives). Though I’ve probably never orgasmed from masturbation, maybe just a few times.
How Many: Pleasures
I haven’t really explored this but I do find myself peculiarly attracted to the sexual blurs and exploration of BDSM, as shown in 50 Shades of Grey. No sex toys for me (yet, fingers crossed), but I do watch porn, as frequently as I am aroused. When I watch porn, I prefer to use my imagination, to actually see myself with somebody that is desiring. So when I watch porn, I turn it into a whole scene of sexual desire that kind of intensifies things for me. Porn can be very unreal unless it’s lesbian porn, but even that is obviously for the male gaze.
How Many: Sexual Partners
I identify as polyamorous, but there’s usually only one seductive enthralling safe partner. Then there might be other subtle partners as well. We might not actively sext or plan sex but fantasies might be attached. I’m not sure I could do a one-night thing. I like to think so, but it doesn’t really seem like my thing, except perhaps with women and when I do become fully sexually active.
What does the word climax mean to you?
As the only girl in a Yoruba household in a super religious family, I was always taught to be restrained when it comes to sex and masturbation. For my whole 19 years, I didn’t have sex, because of this restraint rhetoric, control and these circumstances out of my control. So, I set myself a date that when I turned 20 I would allow myself to be sexually active.
Another reason why I shied away from sex for so long is that, for me, sex means intimacy, and my dysfunctional familial background affects how I view all of that. Sex means intimacy and closeness. Whilst masturbation means how I see myself. It makes me incredibly sexual as a woman. When I was practising binary trans masculinity in 2021, I rejected my feminine side so much that I became so masculine, any sign of femininity I erased her. So masturbation for me is going back, seeing myself in the mirror looking at my body and all of that. Climaxing with the right persons is, beautiful so beautiful. It should be beautiful, it should mean joy, it should be that euphoric feeling. Sexual intimacy is also a kind of love. So sex should be a beautiful vibe where two people come together and touch themselves and pleasure themselves and have fun with it.
